It's come to this

Some of the greatest minds of our time recently met in Harvard to discuss emergency measures for saving the planet from out of control global warming using geoengineering. It's a scantily understood discipline carrying great risks, but that's what we get when society stubbornly refuses to make gradual concessions to the carbon-intensive way of everyday (a.k.a. the easy way out).


So let's look at some of these promising alternative options:


1) Fertilize the oceans - put large amounts of iron particles into oceans, causing a surge in plankton growth. Plankton sucks CO2 (the main greenhouse gas) from the atmosphere, and eventually deposits it on the ocean floor where it stays for centuries.


2) Store CO2 underground - an idea developed by oil companies and already tested in practice. Basically, take the empty chambers in the earth's crust (empty cause we sucked the oil out), and pump excess CO2 into them, and cap it. Sounds simple enough, but we'll essentially be creating giant pockets of poisonous gas, ready to burst.

3) Make clouds more reflective - through a process involving tiny salt particles, we'd be able to increase the albedo (brightness) of clouds, making them more reflective. More reflective clouds would decrease the amount of sunlight reaching the Earth's surface, and thus offset the effects of global warming. In order to actually do this, one method suggests an endless army of ships crossing the oceans and pumping vapour into the sky.

4) CO2 scrubbers - Prototypes of Co2 filtering devices exist today. One plan calls for fields of such scrubbers (roughly the size and shape of football uprights) strategically placed around the world to suck out CO2 directly from the air. The problem is, what to do with the CO2 one it's been captured? Disposal and transport costs would offset any benefit, although the inventor claims a chemical process could turn the captured CO2 into harmless limestone, but he's got a fortune riding on this idea, so of course he'd champion the cause.

5) Space Mirrors - An idea right out of the Simpsons...a giant mirror in space to block out a portion of the sun's light reaching the earth, and thus cooling it. Some mirror designs would simply cause a shaddow effect, while others are more permeable, and would only block out the most harmful sun rays, while allowing light to still reach the earth in all parts, without any shaddow effects. Interesting.

There are other ideas too, but hardly worth writing about.

Melting exotica

Believe it or not, as polluters have always argued, there are some up-sides to global warming. As the climate warms, previously frigid lands will become subtropical, they say. Instead of dealing with snow storms, our Canadian children will enjoy summertime all year round, and biodiversity like we've only seen in movies. Imagine...utopia...tropical diseases galore...hockey, no more. And that cottage property on the tundra you bought for a buck...tropical paradise just in time for retirement. Sweet. Sounds too good to be true, right? Wrong! It's already happening.

Scientists in Antarctica are now able to get a clear look at some exotic creatures previously unseen or rarely so, by human eyes because the icesheets that covered their habitats are gone. Blue icefish and orange stars are no longer glimpsed through the lenses of deep diving robots, but rather by human eyes leaning over the railing of polar research vessels, a.k.a. cruise ships. Glaciers, some the size of small nations are breaking off, creating newly exposed and not quite polar environments. It's aesthetically pleasing perhaps, but the overall implications are not. Thank goodness the world seems to be catching on, and is slowly beginning to think beyond this generation.

The Miracle of Christmas

A Komodo dragon is set to give birth any day now. So what, you say? Well, she lives in a zoo where her access to males is restricted, or at least monitored, and is supposedly a virgin. Zookeepers are baffled, but it's not like that sort of thing hasn't happened before. Our virgin pop princess Britney turned mother-of-two seemingly overnight. And there was that other famous case from two millenia ago. But all those are human examples, and our girls know how to get themselves off...but komodos? Well, one theory goes that during animal transfers and loans between zoos in London and Paris, our virgin dragon hooked up with a male...a romance so short that no one seemed to notice, or would admit to peeping in on just such an event. This alleged encounter would have taken place years ago though, so it looks like our dragon either immaculately conceived, or, self-fertilized by storing the male's sperm for years until she was ready to conceive. Let that be a lesson to you fellas out there...you make sure she rinces out nicely next time or you may be getting an unexpected x-mas present yourselves one year.

Fur is murder, but leather is...better?!?

I unexpectedly found myself at the wrong end of an animal-rights heckling incident today. Getting off a crowded subway train, I heard a distinct mooing sound coming from someone in the crowd. I would later realize that this guy was apparently mooing at every person he saw with a leather jacket. As I walked through the gates, I found myself in between him and his female counterpart. He kept mumbling something about cows (I assumed he was talking to her), and then made an obscure reference to wishing they'd make a stake out of...well, I think he meant me, because as I turned back to see who he was talking to now, he was looking back my way. His counterpart chuckled in agreement. He looked satisfied that I had heard his comments, rather than pretending to ignore him like the others did. Only then did I realize I was one of his intended audiance, and that I was wearing my leather jacket today. Oops.

Although I try to be an environmentalist and am very sympathetic to animal rights and human destruction of their habitats and freedoms...cows are different altogether. Have you ever seen a cow up close? They just look like they don't care. They would never make it in nature alone, so they might as well serve some purpose...food and clothing for us. I also object to low-brow bums who claim to be true activists. They do a dis-service to otherwise valid causes. No one will listen to unappealing people like that and change their ways. Still, the heckler's little rant this morning did bring awareness to the cause. I was gonna have chicken for lunch today, but instead I think I'll have...

Not so crazy afterall

My dad's uncle has some crazy theories. I've heard many of them and disagreed with most, but the latest I heard I must agree has some merit. He's always been a drinker and an indulger, and when criticized for that he'd say: Do not all entities strive to give themselves the best this world has to offer...do we all not seek the cleanest and coziest home possible? Wouldn't desease causing bacteria and viruses rather infect bodies that are well taken care of, clean and efficient and not already abused by alcohol and poor diets? If I were a virus, that's what I'd do! Good point. Sure it fails to consider that indulgence such as alcohol and poor diets contain sugars and other very things bad bacteria crave. And sure, his theory makes no mention of a healthy body's superior ability to fight off harmful invaders, but aside from all that, it's a good theory...and let me say that even pushing 70, my uncle is holding up pretty darn good, and has done very well in life. So, for all those times I put forth a heated counter-argument, let me balance that with this one case of partial agreement. I believe neither extreme, whether it be indulgence or self-preservation will result in happiness. Go Balance!

D-evolution of mankind

My office neighbour recently moved to another department. She left me with one of her plants and a colony of tiny black bugs...on the plant. While picking out the dead leaves they finished off, I found myself looking at these little bastards and thinking "you stupid bugs, you're killing off the very plant that sustains you...and there aren't any more like it anywhere in this office, where'll you go next?". Amazingly, then again maybe not so amazingly at all, it took me a full 10 seconds to realize that we humans are just as stupid...gorging on our planet's precious resources as we multiply, with little regard for future generations and their wellbeing. I know it's been repeated at nauseam, but do we not know any better? Are we no better than those stupid bugs? No, we're actually much worse! We know the consequences of our actions, yet we proceed as usual.

What would it take to curb this trend? Not that much. Here's a little crude sketch I put together to give you an idea of where to start:

1. Good roof insulation is critical to preventing heat loss during cold months, thus minimizing energy usage for heating purposes. On flat roofs (e.g. high-rise buildings), planting green roofs is a good idea.

2. Set up a rainwater collection system (e.g. along the eaves trough). Roof run-off can be collected and used for lawn care, car washing, and other non-drinking purposes, thus minimizing use of costly treated water.
3. Pave as little as possible. Make walkways water permeable (e.g. stones, not pavement) so that rain can seep into the soil.

4. Buy a hybrid car (electrical and conventional fuel mix, or biofuel powered e.g. ethanol) or at least a non gas-guzzler to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Offset car trips with walking, biking, blading or transit when possible. Honda makes some descent hybrids, as does VW. Anything American is usually the worst in terms of pollution.

5. Have natural landscaping around the house. Plant native plants, and do not maintain lawns that require a lot of care (watering, herbicides, etc). If you live in a dry part of the world, you should not have a lawn (stones, shrubs, cacti, etc. can make a yard look just as nice) Invasive species are a no-no…obsessive lawn-moving and planting of annuals, likewise. You'll be a pulluter and a hated neighbour.

6. Plant an organic vegetable garden (No pesticides and artificial fertilizers). Keep a compost heap for fertilization and to reduce household waste.

7. Solar panels installed on the roof would provide additional electricity for the household in addition to the wind turbines (8). Any excess electrical generation could be stored for future domestic use, or put back into the public grid (sold to the electrical company). When in short supply, the household would supplement its energy needs by drawing from the public grid. Note: it is also possible to buy panels that use sunlight to heat water by running cold water (connected to your regular drinking water system) through a series of pipes in the panel until heated by the sun, and ready for use. This would reduce need for furnaces and boilers.

8. Portable wind turbines. (see #7.) A major part of the household’s energy grid, could easily generate enough power for the household, with potential for a surplus which could be sold to the public grid for profit or to offset other servicing costs. Imagine sending your electrical company a bill for your services…sweet!

9. Have lots of windows (good quality/insulation). It will increase heat absorption in cold months, and allow for well lit living quarters, decreasing the need for electrical lighting.

10. Plant fruit trees in the backyard. Again, organic. Lots of tasty healthy treats plus shade for the soil to prevent scorching in the summer and of course ideal for hammocks.

On the inside, how about having energy saving pulbs and other appliances, and please stop leaving everything on standby. Turn off your TV for once...no, really turn it off! If you can turn it on with your remote, it's not really off, it's on standby, and uses a surprising amount of energy in that state...24 hours per day. You're not missing much anyway, just another "scientist" a.k.a. oil industry lobbyist trying to convince simple minds that global warming is a myth. Simply unplug things when not using them. And in the winter/fall seasons, why are people still walking around barefoot and in T-shirts at home? Turn the thermostat down a bit, and dress for the weather sauna freaks! Same goes for the sweater wearing A/C junkies in the summer. I'll never forget freezing my butt off in the scorching days of summer inside a movie theatre blasting the A/C while showing An Inconvenient Truth, a documentary about our need to stop over consumption which leads to global warming. It's all on those damn bugs' fault!

Crikey no more

Steve Irwin, 1962-2006

The world has lost a great warrior for nature and its creatures.