Look in the mirror

I saw an article today claiming that the aged and pregnant in this city find Torontonians lacking in manners. This comes only a day after I read about a study that showed Torontonians as the 3rd most polite city when compared to others in the world. The politeness study used actors pretending to need assistance, and measured the frequency of people willing to help. They did this thousands of times in various cities, and Toronto came in 3rd with a frequency of do-gooders higher than 70%. The other article just talked about how some pregnant and old women can't always get a seat when they take public transit, and concluded that Torontonians are some of the rudest people ever.

Well excuse me! I'm all for giving up my seat to those who need it. I do it all the time and always have and see other do it as well, but I can also understand how in some situations people might be reluctant for fear of a mighty wrath at their expense. I've seen it happen too often.

These people being offered a seat need to be polite in return. If a person offers you their seat, don't yell at them saying "what, do I look like some feable old lady to you!?". And if you'd never snap at a kind stranger like that, realize that some have. Then there's the all too embarassing fat belly mistaken for a pregnancy scenario. I saw it happen too. And another poor fella I saw a while back, squeezed over to the side so that a pregnant woman could sit down next to him. Shortly after, I heard her yelling "gtf over there, don't sit next to me, stop touching me!!!" He wasn't touching her. No one saw it. They were simply squished in together due to her size, and it bothered her that he shifted in his seat. It's not the guy's fault she's mad about not knowing who the father of her child is or whatever...but he got yelled at nonetheless, and quietly, embarrassed, moved to another part of the train. That's not fair.

I myself had a run-in with a milder ingrate the other day, but an ingrate just the same. I see an open seat, but step aside for a middle-aged woman to take it instead. She sits, and I stand. No biggie. I'm one of few people standing, it's not very crowded, but as she gets up to exit the train, she decides to walk directly behind me, instead of using the rest of the wide open isle I made sure was left clear. Despite all the available space she somehow manages to trample over my small back-pack on the floor, at my feet, and stumbles a bit as she walks off it. I ignore it, but instead of proceeding to exit the train she pauses. "Excuse me?" I hear. I ignore it. Then another more direct "Excuse me?!? I tripped over your bag"...but she's not excusing herself, oh no, she's asking for me to acknowledge and apologize for what happened to her...trampling over my bag and almost tripping herself. Yeah, I'm sorry...I'm sorry you're such a cluts and trampled my bag like that lady.

It's funny how some of these same people who are so in need of a seat always muster up super-human strength when it's time to shove everyone out of their way to the exit and up the escalators. The saddest thing of all is, those that trully deserve a seat will never speak up and will quietly suffer and stand.

Some tips. If you're a young male taking public transit, unless you're the only person in the train/bus, do yourself a favour and just stand...stand in some far off corner where you won't be in anyone's way, and pray that those same seat and clear path-demanders will extend you some courtesy and move a bit when your stop comes up.