Where on Earth will we find another...

...Earth? April 22nd is Earth Day. To commemorate the event we had a city-wide 20 minute make-over. Everyone was to stop what they were doing at 2pm on Friday, and go pick up scattered trash for 20 minutes. I didn't join in, and know of few coworkers that did. Instead, I was in a meeting, where we all shuffled through our own personal copies of the same documents discussing how our organization can protect the environment. Occupational irony I call it. I'll make up for it this weekend, I swear.

The whole thing got me thinking though, maybe we as humans are just too lazy and arrogant to clean up the mess we've made. Why even bother? It's not like we can ever undo all the damage we've done anyway...seems like the amount of effort required vs. overall benefit to us just doesn't add up, and we're too brilliant a species to invest in such a futile venture. We're also too dependent on luxury to change our polluting ways, so why even try, right? And it's not like we don't have other choices. We're the only species here capable of packing up and relocating on a cosmic scale. Can't we just do what spoiled wealthy folks do and move into a new place when we mess up our existing home? Allow me to be your cosmic agent...let's have a look at some of the options we have for our future home, shall we:

Our first stop, the Moon. Well, since the late 1960's we've had an open-house on this property. A dozen individuals came by to look at the place, strolled around and quickly left, leaving some of their garbage behind, never to return. Not sure why. They promised to return and build cities but that never happened, and the Moon is still vacant, airless, with some potential for water, and just a three day trip from mother Earth. Although, as breathtaking as the view of Earth from the moon would be, living on the empty grey satellite would make us all long to be back home.

Next we have Mars. Probably the most earthlike of any place in the solar system. It once had flowing water, an abundant atmosphere, warmer weather, and a 28 hour day. Perfect. Well almost...it no longer has the first three desirable characteristics. The water has dried up or frozen at the poles. The atmosphere has thinned out, and the weather is much colder, although mid summer temperatures at the equator can reach a comfortable 10 degres celsius. It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but Mars has homely potential. Infinite resources, centuries of time, and a technique known as terraforming, could see Mars turn more earthlike. Terraforming involves the gradual intruduction of plants to Martian soil, to feast on the CO2 atmosphere, slowly pumping O2 out. Over the passing centuries, more plants would grow, more oxygen released, and the resulting thicker atmosphere would begin to warm up the planet's surface, melting the frozen water...making it almost liveable. Still not Earth though, so let's keep looking.

OK, the next few options are a bit of a commute from the Sun, but the collosal size of neighboring Jupiter on the horizon will make you forget all about that overrated life giving star. The first home on this block, Io, may perhaps remind you a little of Hawaii. Sure its surface temperature is freezing by our standards, but compared to other moons in the area, it's tropical. The constant gravitational tug of war Io feels from Jupiter on one side and the other large Jovian moons orbiting beyond it, causes it to heat up and fracture more so than others. If the relatively mild weather doesn't remind you of Hawaii, the constantly erupting volcanoes sure will. Frequent eruptions spew all sorts of elements into Io's athmosphere, and with all that crap in the air, there's gotta be something of use to us...that is if we exploit it before the weak gravity of Io lets it all escape into space. Just a stone's throw away from Io is Europa...long thought of as the one other place, outside Earth, where life could actually exist. Aside from the suspected ocean of H2O below its frozen surface, Europa offers its residents other amenities such as a moon-wide ice rink and ski jumps.

Moving further out, we have a lovely home called Titan, the largest in the Saturn district. Although it sounds big, at 5,150km across it's still a bit snug for Earthling tastes, but hey what isn't? Plus, with an average surface temperature of -290 degrees fahrenheit, you're gonna want to snuggle up close. On the bright side, Titan may have frozen water below it's surface and is the only moon with a significant atmosphere, although consisting largely of nitrogen, argon and other lovely gases that kill. You wouldn't want to go out anyway. The long term forcast calls for unrelenting smog and haze, with thick clouds causing occasional rain...a slurry of methane and ethane. Your new home on Titan will provide you with a beautiful view of what a young Earth may have looked like, before it was hospitable to mankind. Further down on this same street we also have Enceladus...not much to look at, but rumor has it, it may have plumbing. It's all speculation, but this modest little world may have liquid water...hundreds of miles below it's frozen surface of course.
It sounds discouraging I know, but consider that those are but a few of our options (albeit by far our best ones). We still have 7 other planets and some 100 moons to look at. The market is teeming with vacancies and it's in the buyer's favour, but I guess you're beginning to see why. Although there's endless real estate out there, it's a tough sell...no one and nothing wants to live out there, and for good reason. The Earth is the place to be. So, as lazy and arrogant as we humans may be, taking the time to tidy up and invest in the future of our current home is going to cost us much less and benefit us infinitely more in the long run, than a move to any of those other forsaken places would.