Europe's First Pyramid

An archaeologist is claiming that there is a pyramid buried underneath this hill near the town of Visoko, in central Bosnia. The structure buried underneath is believed to be 12,000 years old and 70 meters high, resembling the step pyramids of distant South America, and not the ones found in Egypt. Initial drilling samples have turned up anomalies in the rock consistent with the pyramid theory. It is believed that the pyramid was probably built by pre-Illirians, who lived in the Balkans as early as 24,000 years ago. If confirmed, this would be the first pyramid found in Europe, unless you count the modern-day glass pyramid at the entrance of the Louvre in Paris...the French like to be credited with every first. The original discoverer refers to it as the "sun pyramid", and believes that a hill nearby hides the complemetary "moon pyramid", and is planning future excavation projects to prove his theory. A successful local businessman has already purchesed a large chunk of the land in question, in hopes of turning a profit.

A little over-zealous aren't we guys? Being familiar with that region, I can tell you that it's peppered with hundreds of similar forest covered hills. Is it not possible that one or two might naturally start to look like things are buried underneath, especially things that look nothing like a hill...um, let's say a pyramid?! Instead of looking for answers in the distant past, have we also considered more timely explanations? Maybe the archaeologist is simply having a hallucinogenic episode brought on by daily indulgence in local sljivovac (homemade plum brandy, a local staple). Or perhaps the mound is just another overfilled mass grave, courtesy of nationalistic Serb militias. Ouch, too soon, eh? Sorry, but that would explain some of the drilling anomalies. Let's face it, the Balkans have been the stage for countless battles, from the recent civil war, to the two world wars, and before that was the devestation brought on by the invading Ottomans, Mongols, and Romans. The good earth can only bury so many at once.

The archaeologist in question hopes to solve this mystery in 5 years, and is trying to persuade the Bosnian government to finance a large scale excavation, by pointing out the money they stand to make in tourism. Ah, it shows that he's been living in the Americas far too long and has forgoten his roots. Now, it's not that the Bosnians are afraid of cheap tourist-attracting gimmickry, I mean this is the same nation that recently erected the world's first statue of Bruce Lee in the city of Mostar. Yes, the bronze statue of Lee in Mostar was erected even before the one in his homeland of Hong Kong. The Bosnian mentality is one of, why spend large amounts of money and labour we don't have, excavating this "pyramid" when we can just invest in velvet ropes and some cevapcici stands, while propagating the myth of the buried pyramid and ancient curses. People will still come. It's not so much the pyramid that attracts tourists, it's the mystery. And what if they fork over the cash and excavate, but find no pyramid or anything of interest? An expensive short-lived venture that ultimately yields few lasting benefits, a lesson Bosnia's already learnt from the costly Sarajevo Winter Olympics in 1984.