Europe's First Pyramid

An archaeologist is claiming that there is a pyramid buried underneath this hill near the town of Visoko, in central Bosnia. The structure buried underneath is believed to be 12,000 years old and 70 meters high, resembling the step pyramids of distant South America, and not the ones found in Egypt. Initial drilling samples have turned up anomalies in the rock consistent with the pyramid theory. It is believed that the pyramid was probably built by pre-Illirians, who lived in the Balkans as early as 24,000 years ago. If confirmed, this would be the first pyramid found in Europe, unless you count the modern-day glass pyramid at the entrance of the Louvre in Paris...the French like to be credited with every first. The original discoverer refers to it as the "sun pyramid", and believes that a hill nearby hides the complemetary "moon pyramid", and is planning future excavation projects to prove his theory. A successful local businessman has already purchesed a large chunk of the land in question, in hopes of turning a profit.

A little over-zealous aren't we guys? Being familiar with that region, I can tell you that it's peppered with hundreds of similar forest covered hills. Is it not possible that one or two might naturally start to look like things are buried underneath, especially things that look nothing like a hill...um, let's say a pyramid?! Instead of looking for answers in the distant past, have we also considered more timely explanations? Maybe the archaeologist is simply having a hallucinogenic episode brought on by daily indulgence in local sljivovac (homemade plum brandy, a local staple). Or perhaps the mound is just another overfilled mass grave, courtesy of nationalistic Serb militias. Ouch, too soon, eh? Sorry, but that would explain some of the drilling anomalies. Let's face it, the Balkans have been the stage for countless battles, from the recent civil war, to the two world wars, and before that was the devestation brought on by the invading Ottomans, Mongols, and Romans. The good earth can only bury so many at once.

The archaeologist in question hopes to solve this mystery in 5 years, and is trying to persuade the Bosnian government to finance a large scale excavation, by pointing out the money they stand to make in tourism. Ah, it shows that he's been living in the Americas far too long and has forgoten his roots. Now, it's not that the Bosnians are afraid of cheap tourist-attracting gimmickry, I mean this is the same nation that recently erected the world's first statue of Bruce Lee in the city of Mostar. Yes, the bronze statue of Lee in Mostar was erected even before the one in his homeland of Hong Kong. The Bosnian mentality is one of, why spend large amounts of money and labour we don't have, excavating this "pyramid" when we can just invest in velvet ropes and some cevapcici stands, while propagating the myth of the buried pyramid and ancient curses. People will still come. It's not so much the pyramid that attracts tourists, it's the mystery. And what if they fork over the cash and excavate, but find no pyramid or anything of interest? An expensive short-lived venture that ultimately yields few lasting benefits, a lesson Bosnia's already learnt from the costly Sarajevo Winter Olympics in 1984.

Promiscuous Priests

DISCLAIMER - In the unlikely event that this blog is actually viewed by someone lured in by the blog’s references to apostles and saints, I feel I should not let their journey be totally in vain. What follows is my obligatory post on religion. Although obligatory, it's not without considerable interest to me.

On November 29th, 2005 the Vatican plans to release a document outlining who can and who shouldn't be allowed to join the seminary. At the top of the not allowed list are "sexually active homosexuals". Huh?!? or, perhaps D'uh! Roman Catholic priests are supposed to be celibate, so how does sexual orientation even play a role here? It's like the Vatican is accepting the fact that vows of celibacy are a joke, so now the message is, when you do break those vows...and we know you will...you better break them straight! Compromising the faith or perhaps not?

Personally, I think Catholic priests have it rough. I feel the scandals you hear about are rare exceptions and not the norm, caused by a few pervs who slip through the cracks, but I don't want to get into that here. Rather, I want to discuss the underappreciated majority...the noble, good guys and the sacrifices they've made. For any normal man in today's society, devoting one's entire life to prayer, study and helping others is difficult enough, but the added feature of lifelong celibacy is the breaking point. As if the temptations of the outside world weren't great enough, Catholic priests face it daily in their own sanctuaries. Can you just imagine the erotic, kinky stories people share at the confessional booth...or the raging pheromones emitted by a young bride at the altar, eagerly awaiting what's to come later that night? It's the priests who are manning these front lines, yet never seeing any action themselves, so it's understandable if they occassionally crack. As long as they persue discreet and consensual encounters, outside their role in the church, they deserve a break. Once satiated, they can return to their flocks with a clear mind, and concentrate on the job they set out to do, for all the right reasons.

HIV and Conventional vs.Alternative Medicine

A British man recently proclaimed that he is the first person to become clear of HIV, the virus largely believed to cause AIDS, after testing positive for it 14-months earlier. Naturally, if confirmed, this could prove to be a breakthrough in the fight against HIV/AIDS. However, don’t let this be a green light to increase your current dosage of careless promiscuity just yet. You see, although the medical facility involved has confirmed that the man did indeed test negative for HIV after previously testing positive, and that there was no identity mix-up involved, the man has not come back for further testing...and why would he? This man just received the best news of his life, and although his job as a sandwich maker in some dirty ol' London pub no doubt, may not be the most stimulating, it's light-years better than being a human guinea pig. If it's proven that this guy's immune system did indeed develop anti-bodies to HIV, anyone within an arm's reach of a syringe would be after him for a sample. Fun indeed.

Although a fascinating story, this is certainly not the first time a previously infected person has claimed to be HIV free. I myself can recall hearing accounts from Africa of people ridding themselves of HIV; a tablet from China believed to be a cure for AIDS; a Croatian doctor curing AIDS patients with no trace of HIV in them after following a program of herbal teas and natural cleansing methods...all reported before this British case, but with similar levels of substantiation...in other words, promising, but don't bet your life on it. Interestingly enough though, none used conventional medicine as the primary treatment option.

This all brings about the question of who's done more to actually help the 40 million HIV/AIDS sufferers in the world today...conventional medicine or alternative methods? In the two decades since HIV and AIDS made headlines, traditional medical science has made some strides in providing treatments and prolonging lives. Experimental vaccination programs have begun; strong new drug cocktails claim to reduce the presence of HIV in the body to almost undetectable levels; and the medical community has provided the public with more information on the inner-workings of the virus than most people could possibly take in ...but still, no cure. Perhaps the lovable Dr.Hibbert summed it up best with "although we can't fix your [body], we can tell you exactly how damaged it is", to which the natural reply is a classic Homeresque "woo-hoo!" followed by "what an age we live in"...with or without sarcasm, depending on your level of awareness of the severity of the situation.

So what about alternative medicine? Registered naturopathic and homeopathic practicioners are gaining popularity and respectability by the minute, but few have gone as far as to claim victory over HIV and AIDS. Rather, they encourage the use of natural/herbal and pro-biotic supplements; organic food; reduction in exposure to toxins and stress; increased physical activity; and lowering the body's PH level (acidity)...all which will keep the body from getting sick in the first place, and may also help it heal itself from an existing illness. Well, much on that list resembles things a conventional doctor would tell you to do as well. The only real difference is that instead of popping prescription drugs, you're popping herbal supplements...oh, and your pay-cheque will feel the difference too, as nuturopathic treatments are almost never covered by group healthcare plans.

Rest assured though, there are still trully alternative approaches out there, some so far off the beaten path of logic that I pray you never find yourself desperate enough to try them. Others however, seem as potentially legitimate and one such method I've come across was developed by Canadian, Hulda Regehr Clark, Ph.D., N.D. and discussed in her book The Cure for All Diseases. Her approach is different in that unlike other alternative methods which often seem to cite some more or less ancient practice as their foundation, if any explanation is even provided, Dr. Clark's is based on modern science. Apparently, the key to overcoming any disease, and yes even HIV/AIDS, is the elimination of harmful parasites (bacteria and viruses) and pollutants. All parasites according to Dr. Clark, can be eliminated by using radio/electrical frequencies. A change in lifestyle and diet will take care of step two, the elimination of pollutants/toxins in the body. She explains it better than I, but whether legit or not, at the very least it's an interesting read. And, when all else fails, perhaps Homer' s approach of beer and donuts is best for what ails ya. Cheers!

The Days of Thunder are no more

As any pre-pubescent amateur dinosaur enthusiast, I had my favourites...as you might expect the T-Rex topped that list, but I always had a soft spot for Brontosaurus, a mild mannered, 80-foot long herbivore from the Jurassic Period, that lived 150 million years ago. Now in my adulthood I find myself reacquainted with paleontology, but the one thing I cannot find is my Brontosaurus!

Not only is it extinct, but now they're saying it never even existed. They call it everything from a "major scientific blunder" to a "fraud"...total character assassination. Then, as is the trend in today's profit minded society, they gave it a facelift, merged it, slapped a new label on it and are now selling it off as an Apatosaurus!

Who's responsible for all this? Well, it all started with the original discoverer O.C.Marsh, who in his haste to discover as many dinosaur species as possible, started double-counting. A bulletproof plan, I wonder what went wrong? He failed to see that his 1877 discovery (Apatosaurus) was actually a juvenile Brontosaurus, which he discovered 2 years later and thought of it a different species. D'uh! I have but one piece of evidence to go on, the photo above, and I can clearly conclude that they are the same species. Regardless, the law of precedent prevailed and Apatosaurus (1877) stuck, while Brontosaurus (1879) was discarded.

Oh, and the facelift incident was also his fault. The Brontosaurus skeleton he initially assembled included bones from other dinosaur species, including the head. Once this was realized, the facial features of the dinosaur had to be redrawn, rendering it almost unrecognizable.

Brontosaurus, my centennial brother, they took your legacy and proud name, Thundering Lizard, and tried to diminish it. Well my friend, 'tis better to simply not exist than to be Apatheticsaurus, or whatever. You will always be Brontosaurus to me!

CREDENTIALS:

Although this case is close to my heart, I write not without considerable authority on the subject matter of dinosaurs. I am the author of such works as, Dinosaurs- Grade 5 Project (1990) and co-author of The Ultimate Dinosaur Adventure (2004). In addition, I participated in several self-guided tours of the dinosaur exhibits at the Royal Ontario Museum, and was expedition leader of a backyard dinosaur excavation in 2004. My greatest claim to fame however takes me back to grade 9, and a simple bet. I proposed to a dozen gullible peers that a Grizzly bear would likely win a fight with a Velociraptor*. Having seen Jurassic Park, to a man, they all disagreed with me. I would laugh last however, as by the end of the 90's, the velociraptor was re-cast as a much smaller, feathered creature...more a bird than a dinosaur. Still vicious and cunning, but much too small to do any damage to a grizzly. My peers also failed to take into account that velociraptors hunt in packs, while a grizzly is a seasoned solo fighter.

*This came about due to the NBA's recent expansion into Canada. Toronto got the Raptors, and Vancouver got the Grizzlies. Although a raptor fan, I realized that the image on the raptor logo was misleading. Oddly enough, the Vancouver Grizzlies went extinct, while the Toronto Raptors live on...but for how long?

Deep-sea holy grail

In September of 2004 a Japanese team of deep-sea researchers captured footage of a live Giant Squid (Architeuthis dux). The team found the squid in 900m deep water, 16km off the coast of a remote Pacific island of Chichijima (Bonin Islands). It was an 8m long female, wrestling with its dinner (shrimp used as bait). The team not only captured video footage, but also a severed 6m long tentacle, still capable of sucking. Apparently, the squid lost the tentacle when it got tangled in the fishing line. Although it won't grow back, they believe the squid is not in any danger. "It was quite an experience to feel the still-functioning tentacle" one of the team members commented on the sucking. He later added "the photos were even better". Oh, he'll be in the news again, but this time on assault and inter-species sodomy charges.

The team only released their findings now, a full year later. What happened to the good ol' days of discovery, when yellin' Eureka while running naked through the streets was acceptable practice? Did they think it was a matter of national security or something? Japan corners the ink market! I mean c'mon, this was pretty cool news and not politically sensitive at all. It was the very first time anyone has ever caught a glimpse of a creature like this in the wild and alive (a few dead or dying ones have washed ashore). And what if during this information lag, some drunken fisherman off the coast of Newfoundland found another giant squid...d'you think he'd wait a year to claim the fame? It's just weird that in this modern age of information technology, progress is impeded by red-tape and procedure.

Although the Giant Squid is believed to grow to 18m in length, an even larger species known as the Colossal Squid (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) is rumoured to exist. As big as these invertebrates are, Killer Whales eat them. Yes, those cute Orcas at Marineland attack them relentlessly...mammals rule!

It makes you wonder how many other species we haven't discovered yet, and I'm not talking about some spatially insignificant amoeba, but really large creatures. I mean, until 1976 no one knew of the Megamouth shark (does that sound like a small fish?), and the re-descovery of the though-to-be-extinct Coelacanth was only a few decades before that...and I won't even comment on Nessie and Sasquatch. Let's keep our eyes open folks!

UPDATE: A Mexican post-graduate student has just discovered a new species of shark in the Sea of Cortez. Named Mustelus hacat, the shark is appx. 5 feet in length and the first new species discovered in the area in 34 years.

What's in a name?

In the Spirit of St.Thomas refers to Thomas the apostle, also known as Didymus. A controversial figure of scripture and myth alike, St.Thomas is often refered to as Doubting Thomas, due to his tendancy to constantly question, doubt, and scrutinize. At the same time though, he's one of those "I have to see it to believe it" kinda guys, but even if what he sees defies all logic and seems impossible, he'll believe.

It is in the spirit of this inquizitiveness with a touch of naivete and cynicism that I start this blog. Occasionally I come across random topics that are beyond the everyday things you hear, and they capture my interest...as I start to brainstorm, opinions, ideas, crazy conclusions and whacky theories often raindown. I intend to use this blog as my outlet.